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FIND: Heart, soul, heart. A Xelayan heart like an Earth bull that hammers wild for someone it is allowed to buck for. A Xelayan soul-and-mind that is only sharp when you get a little bit too close. A Xelayan body that doesn't unravel at the touch of its own genetics. A Xelayan existence that has nothing to be guilty for.
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FIND: A presence on Xeleyah that presents as something other than a failure. She watches Earth media and parents who are Good Parents tell their children you can be anything you want to be. She watches Earth media and escapes into the portal of it. The screen reaches out and grabs her, pulls her in. A presence in the universe where she can find a true home amongst other souls, other bodies, other hearts. Encouragement, like resuscitation.
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FIND: A sister.
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A SISTER WHO: just wants the best for her, she swears, if you would just listen, Alara, don't leave me for the Union of all places, don't go down that rabbit hole, don't saunter right into the labyrinth, don't lay yourself down as the next sacrifice, it's dangerous out there and you can't handle it. I just want you to be safe. I just don't want you to leave. You can't handle it. You can't do it, Alara. You can't do education and you can't even do the military— and what do you think Union Point is, anyway?
A SISTER WHO: paints her nails when Alara is 6 and she is 12, who takes Alara to her first school event when she finds out Alara has no friends, who catches Alara smelling her bathrobe the day she leaves for her first internship and doesn't even say anything.
A SISTER WHO: tells Alara to go away when her boyfriends are over and locks her door so Alara can't come in even when her boyfriends aren't over and spends every night out with friends who don't even know Alara's name. It gets better when Solana gets older—broody teenagers, her father would say—but Alara has already been skinned & cooked by the time she moves past it, the remains of her patience in a landfill somewhere, an uneaten dish at a community gathering. She is the thing that no one wants to eat.
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FIND: image
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<img src="/home/alara/desktop/desktop_background.png" alt="An image, the last photo I took with Solana. In it I am 12 and Solana is 18. I am much smaller and I have my arm around Solana's shoulders. My head is turned to gaze at her and she is faced forward, her eyes focused on something off-screen, her expression exhausted."/>
<img src="/home/users/alara/Pictures/solana_botany_club_yearbook_page.png" alt="The full-page yearbook spread for the botany club from Solana's final year of secondary school. She stands with the rest of the botany club, placed prominently in the middle to emphasize that she's president, because she's always so fucking smug about it."/>
<img src="/home/users/alara/Pictures/photography/solana_shadows.png" title="When I was about 15 I experimented with photography, because I thought if I wasn't good at school, maybe I could be good at something else, like capturing. I tried to capture Solana in the light, but dark clouds flooded the skies before I could process it. This is the final product." alt="A portrait image of Solana from the chest up. An odd red light source brushes over her face, accentuating each nose freckle and cheekbone turn and strand of blonde hair, and the clouds in the scenery behind her indicates that it's going to rain soon, too soon, before either of us can escape it."/>
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FIND: document
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/home/alara/Documents/reading_and_analysis_099_final_report_graded.pdf
/home/alara/Documents/school/earthhistory/assignments/incomplete/documents/spreadsheets/folder/documents/you-made-this-far-here-is-the-secret-folder/yearbook_xelayan_academy_junior_primary_school.pdf
/home/alara/Documents/school/earthhistory/assignments/incomplete/documents/spreadsheets/folder/documents/secret-folder/solana_letters_from_home_xelayan_childrens_seasonal_away_camp.pdf
/home/alara/Documents/school/earthhistory/assignments/incomplete/documents/spreadsheets/folder/documents/secret-folder/solana_first_publication.pdf
/home/alara/Documents/school/earthhistory/assignments/incomplete/documents/spreadsheets/folder/documents/secret-folder/journal.docx
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_ ■ X
>>X
Shutting down…
🔍 Terminal
$ ssh alara@home
Welcome to Ubuntu 425.04
* Documentation: https://help.ubuntu.com
* Management: https://landscape.canonical.com
* Support: https://ubuntu.com/pro
Last login: Sat Sept 01 19:56:37 2419 from [REDACTED]
$ cd /home/alara/Documents # Changes directory to alara's Documents folder
$ sudo mkdir schedules # Makes a directory called schedules
password for alara: kitansis23962390!!
$ touch schedule_orville_september_2419.odf # Makes a document file to track shift schedules and free time
$ sudo nano schedule_orville_september_2419.odf # Opens an editor for the file
_ ■ X
Shift Begins 0700
Break 1200-0200
Break 1800-2000
Shift Ends 2400
Call Solana Sept 03 1900
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--Call Solana Sept 03 1900
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+Call Solana Sept 15 1900
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-Call Solana Sept 15 1900
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+Call Solana Sept 25 1
-Call Solana Sept 25 1
....
Shift Begins 0700
Break 1200-0200
Break 1800-2000
Shift Ends 2400
Day Off - Free Time and Relaxation Sept 03
Day Off - Free Time and Relaxation Sept 05
Day Off - Free Time and Relaxation Sept 15
Day Off - Free Time and Relaxation Sept 25
Session timeout; connection closed.